Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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