So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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