Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
