I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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