I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
