You work out of a Hotel?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
