You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
