I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
