we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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