watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
