i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
