I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
