My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
