worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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