I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this just has baby written all over it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
