Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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