I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
time to smoke my breakfast
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
