I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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