we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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