idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
