the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
