Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
