I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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