in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
