I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
