It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
