i don't like sucking hair
I think I died a long time ago.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
