sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need a beard to bite.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
