I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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