My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
