I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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