I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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