At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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