Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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