i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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