i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
