he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
