That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
