NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
