just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think my moral compass just broke
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
