It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
