oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
