butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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