people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
