I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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