Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
