He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
