Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
