are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
