is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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