Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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