We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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