try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
