I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
