i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
sarcasm needs its own font
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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