My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
