If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
